Recently, someone commented to me that they “know how much living in this apartment drains you.” I was a little taken aback when they said it because the truth is I used to feel that way. But I honestly haven’t in a while. I suppose I just came to accept it for what it was.
Are there things I would love to change about my current living situation? Sure. I loudly state to all who will listen that when I move it will most likely be to somewhere I can have a dog. It’s a simple thing but very important for my peace of mind and mental health.
There are, of course, other things that are more within my control that I have done nothing about. Things like hanging some of my art, painting the walls to change the colours I hate, fixing my couch.
I know why I have resisted doing those things, even though I no longer feel the same hatred for my space. To me, it felt like fixing the place up and making it my own would be like me admitting I was stuck here.
In my head, I was going to be moving on soon so why bother spending money and time changing this place to suit to me better. Of course, this year I will hit the 4 year mark, and although I do still have my sights set on somewhere else, I have accepted that this is home for now.
I’m currently reading Love the Home You Have by Melissa Michaels, and what I’m now thinking is that if I learn to actually love this home and turn it into a space that I enjoy and inspires me, then I will be more open to the changes that need to happen for the dream home to come into my life.
So changes are coming. I’m still not working full-time so money is limited but not all things will require major expenditure. Let the loving begin!