A word about confidence

toddler looking at believe in yourself graffiti

Confidence is one of those concepts that people think they have until it really counts, and then those doubts crawl into the corners of our minds. Confidence is defined as “full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing” which also includes the idea of “belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities.”

Obviously, confidence is an internal quality, but it does reflect on our outsides. When we think about the people we consider to be confident, what they display is a wonderful quality of being comfortable with who they are and usually allowing their real self to show up.

A lack of confidence is riddled with doubts – doubts about who we truly are, whether we are good enough, whether we can do what is being asked of us. It also brings up concerns about external perceptions – how are other people seeing us? what do they think of us, our expertise, our competence?

Developing confidence is a key component of success. And it is doable, but as with other personal development, it takes work. Some of the things that it takes are:

  • Observation: You have to learn to observe yourself, and become mindful of your own thoughts and feelings in situations.
  • Self-awareness: Going beyond observing to actually understanding yourself and what underlies your lack of confidence.
  • Support: You can enlist others (friends, family, coach etc.) to help you build your confidence, whether to practice talking about yourself or handling tough situations.
  • Celebrations: Celebrating your successes, big and small, is a great way to build confidence and create the drive for more success.

For me, blogging plays a big role in developing my confidence. Sharing my thoughts online gives me a space to think “out loud” about myself, but also to share my learning and successes. Over time, it can also build support for me outside my small circle of friends and family.

Many of the people who know don’t realize I struggle with a lack of confidence, but that is really because I have developed sophisticated coping skills that help to hide my insecurities and doubt. I still have a lot of work to do and you will see some of that here in my posts.


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