Life at Forty

If you had asked me, as a child, what my life would look like at 40, I would have had absolutely no clue. That was too far away for me to visualize.

If you had asked me at 20, I would have been 100% sure that I would be married with children and a solid career.

If you had asked me at 30, I would have been pretty sure that I would be married with children and maybe consulting or something with a lot of travel.

If you had asked me at 35 where I would be at 40, I would have been hoping that I would be married, with maybe one child and perhaps running my own business.

If you had asked me 2 years ago, I would have guessed that I’d perhaps be heading to marriage and travelling the world.

A year ago, I thought I’d be living with my boyfriend in a great house and in an amazing job.

6 months ago, I imagined that I’d have moved from my apartment and be owning a dog. Lol!

All of that is simply to say that we really never know what our life will look like.

It doesn’t mean don’t make plans, but you can’t get so fixated on what you think your life should look like. It is ok to have a dream and to set goals to work towards, but life changes and you need to be able to change with it.

A couple days ago, I turned 40. And the simple truth of my life is that it looks nothing like what I thought it would. And that’s ok.

I’m not married and it doesn’t look like that is in the near future. I have no kids and I’m starting to wonder which path will be mine… will I remain childless or be one of those first-time mothers in her late 40s? I have a job on an interesting project but I am trying to figure out what I want to do next with my life.

Life is an interesting journey and that’s about the only thing I can say for sure.

Every year I learn a whole bunch of new things. Some I go after for myself and some things are just thrust upon me.

A practice I have followed for several years is to set a theme for my year. I usually start this process around my birthday so that by the time the new year begins I have it figured out. I don’t like resolutions so much, but with an overarching theme for my life I can create goals and general movement in different areas of my life that fit with my theme.

Last year, I chose Back to Basics. I’m only now realizing that I never documented it here on my blog. The big plan was to return to strategies that had worked for me in the past including journalling for my mental health, using paper planners, whiteboard todo lists, Primal Blueprint eating habits, regular yoga etc. It was about clearing out the clutter of complexity and returning to the simple things I have been able to successfully implement previously.

I had limited success with it, more because I lost focus on myself because of stuff in my personal and work life. As I approach the end of what has been a kind of crazy year, I have done some reflection and come up with my theme for the year to come. Although all of my themes have focused on my own personal development, I intend to return to the core. I am declaring 2017 to be the Year of Me. It sounds selfish, but it’s really just about using the year to truly examine myself and what I want out of life.


I talked some about Fit and Fab Forty as my birthday approached. It was, on some level, a superficial focus on becoming a hotter version of my 20-year old self, but I am co-opting my own idea and making the Year of Me subtitled “Fit and Fab Forty.” The Fitness will be all-encompassing: fitness in all areas of my life (physical, mental, emotional, financial, professional etc.) The Fab will be fabulous fulfillment. The end goal will be to set myself up for a fantastic decade of my Forties.

I have some early thoughts on what the year might look like, but I want to solidify them some more before I post them here. For you reading this, I encourage you to think on your own life and the shape you want it to take. Make sure you are following your own path, not one set by society, friends or family. Find your way to happiness and live your own life.

And if you’re curious about my journey, stay tuned!


About the Author


Bianca is a multi-slash lover of life. techie | wordsmith | photographer | performer | poet

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